Where can I go from your Spirit?

Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
If I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
If I settle on the far side of the sea,
Even there your hand will guide me,
Your right hand will hold me fast.

—Psalm 139:7-10 NIV

Have you ever just wanted to run away?

Not run away like I did when I was little, packing my little suitcase and hiding in some bushes behind my house, while I waited for someone to notice. It didn’t work, because Mother didn’t even know I’d run away until I told her. Of course, I’d probably only been gone a few minutes.

But unlike a child, sometimes we get the urge to truly escape, to run away from our current life and leave it behind. As an adult, I’ve had the same urge. Of course, I know it wouldn’t work now either, because the problems would still be there when I returned, or worse, follow me wherever I went.

But one day after a stressful week, I felt that need to escape. I had moved to a new home in a new state, leaving friends behind. I was worried about my grown son, who seemed to go from one bad decision to another. My new job was fraught with anxiety, and the home office was in another state. I had no one to turn to for support, and I was lonely.

I arrived home wanting to relax, but when I stepped out on the balcony of my condo for some peace and quiet, noise from my partying neighbors thwarted that goal. I decided to go for a walk. But I didn’t want to walk in my immediate neighborhood; I wanted to go somewhere else, somewhere remote, where I could spend time with God and pray.

I walked beyond my normal walking route to another neighborhood, looking for some place private. Knowing many of these homes were waterfront, I searched for a spot where I could get close to the water. At the end of a street I found a vacant lot for sale. Noticing it was on the water, I traipsed through it to the water’s edge. There stood remnants of an old dock, with just enough wood for me to sit on.

Tears flowed as I felt God’s hand reach out to me as if to say, “Here is the place I prepared for you to come and visit with me. Here you can pour out your heart and I will listen because I love you.” The water lapped gently against the shore while I sat, resting in Him, and being restored. It was then that the words of the Bible verse above came to me. And I knew that no matter where I went or how alone I was, God was there with me, too, and He cared.

—Marilyn Turk

Pathways of the Heart